Life Changing

Last night we had another “family conference”. Report cards had come in and my dad wasn’t happy. None of my attendance failures were fixed and my pre-calc grade was listed wrong. I told him that, but he still told me he was disappointed at the fact that I didn’t clear them up earlier. I ended up getting

AP World: C (attendance failure, should be A or B)

Drivers’ Ed: A

Chemistry: B

Guitar 2: A

Pre-calc: C (should be B)

English: A

I was shocked about my pre-calc grade. Mrs.Mclanahan had told me that she would give me a B for the grading period and that I had made an 80 on the final. Yet they were listed as Cs. I emailed her about it today, hopefully she’ll fix it and not say something retarded like “gyeongbae you made a C”.

I saw my step sister cry that night. It was the first time seeing her cry. My parents called her out on her FCAT scores and her poor english. Her mother told her to stop crying, that this wasn’t something to cry about. I felt bad because I knew what it felt like to be in her shoes. Shes been plucked from her home in Korea to live in America. She left behind all her friends and family without her consent. She was forced to live in a new country where she knew no one. She can’t communicate with others because shes scared. At least I have my sister, she has no one. Her tough image cracked that night and she crumbled.

We started discussing moving. Its inevitable, we’re going to move soon. Honestly, I have mixed feeling on it. I don’t want to leave everyone I know, I’m scared of starting new as an upperclassmen. But I want to leave Tallahassee; I want to go somewhere big. My sister brought up the idea of sending me and Sumi to live and attend school with her in Boston. She used my friend Xue as an example. She lives with her older brothers and away from her parents, yet shes living fine and still makes great grades. She also told him that the schools in boston are harder and it’ll make me and Sumi work harder to keep up.

This is crazy, this is something I dreamed about, this is something I want badly. I want to live with my sister. Shes the voice of reason in our family. She is a mediator between the conservative korean dad and the Americanized freethinking son.

My dad said he’ll allow it for Sumi if she masters english, and for me if I can show myself to be responsible without his supervision. His definition of responsible is getting straight A’s next year (something I had not accomplished since the 7th grade), starting up tennis again, and showing him that I’m trying.

I want to leave Tallahassee.

I want to be independent.

I want to go to Boston.