AMBITIONS

Everyone had those childhood dreams. My friends wanted to be athletes, cops, fire fighters, scientists and one ambitious pal dreamed of being the first women president. I wanted to be an owner of a pizza place. Why? I loved Pizza and I figured I could eat as much pizza as I could if I was one. Silly kindergarten me.


I looked up to my dad (like any child) and wanted to be a pastor like him. It turned out to be another short lived dream. Around 3rd grade I fell in love with animals. I loved watching and observing their behaviors and patterns. I would literally spend hours just watching the animals around my neighborhood. I wanted to be a zoologist, and it has been my longest dream. I held onto it for until my 8th grade year. No matter how many people though it was dumb, I thought working and studying animals would be the coolest way to live. Then I got into numbers.


I guess when I lost a lot of my glittering childhood innocence, I started to lose my dreams. I didn’t want to be a Zoologist anymore; I wanted to be a money making stock broker. I figured I would make a lot of money by investing other people’s money and not my own. I would live an unhappy and stressful life but have plenty of money to spend. Obviously I have a messed up concept of the dollar and true happiness, but that’s how freshmen me thought.


One of the people I loved most was a therapist. I looked up to her so I wanted to be a therapist as well. My dad discouraged me from this dream pretty hard. I don’t know why, but he was set in stone for his belief of how people will not seek my service because I’m Asian. According to him they would rather talk to someone white or black if they’re white or black. I guess it kind of makes sense.


My sister gave up her dreams for the family. She tells me frequently about how I can pursue what I want in life and how I’m free. I wish I could trade places with her. I feel bad because I have no goals and ambitions while she has a ton. Long story short, I need something….a goal or a dream….or something.